"When a doting person gets down on all fours and plays with the dog's rubber mouse, it only confuses the puppy and gives him a sense of insecurity. He gets the impression that the world is unstable and wonders whether he is supposed to walk on his hind legs and smoke cigars."
-Corey Ford
"
A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates."
-Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
"And then there's the personal question so many of Lassie's fans want to ask: Is he allowed on the furniture? Of course he is — but, then, he's the one who paid for it."
-Julia Glass
"It don't care whether I'm good enough. It don't care whether I snore or not. It don't care which God I pray to. There are only three things with that kind of unconditional acceptance: Dogs, donuts, and money."
-Lawrence Garfield, (played by Danny DeVito), Other People's Money
"
My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, "Woof!" The other replies, "Moo!" The dog is perplexed. "Moo? Why did you say, "Moo'?" The other dog says, "I'm trying to learn a foreign language.""
- Morey Amsterdam
"The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets!""
-Dave Starr
"
No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
-Fran Lebowitz
"I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that."
-W. Dayton Wedgefarth
"Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls."
-Phillis Diller
“The bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth will ever be.”
-Konrad Lorenz
“The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog.”
-George Graham Vest
"Animals share with us the privilege of having a soul"
-Pythagorus
"Sure I know where the press room is - I just look for where they throw the dog meat."
-Martina Navratilova
"The dog and the rabbit are telling us not to chase unattainable material goals."
-Kit Williams
